"Each face you see expresses a story - the lives of that person's ancestors. Experiences of the family are etched in our smiles, reflected in our eyes and lived through our behaviors. As people stand in front of you, be humankind; they witness your story, too." Sanna Carapellotti
Have you wondered if previous family events can control your life?
Yes, they do.
Within every family, a consciousness exists. Events, traumas, philosophies and patterns that remain unresolved, ignored or those that created stress and chaos are consequentially handed down into the succeeding generations. These previous generations als0 pass down successes, love, philosophies, loyalties, and powerful cultural activities Family Constellation work draws on the family system to reveal this consciousness that moves through each member in a unique way.
Trauma, conflict, or the expression of the unresolved life struggles subconsciously repeat themselves, as if they are 'inherited.' Unbeknownst to us, what is suppressed in one generation can be expressed in the next, i.e., traumatic deaths, financial failure, criminal behavior, success, lifestyles, and especially, those who have been rejected. Our attempts at resolution are temporary at best and can become a life-long stuggle.
Examples: The grandmother who suffered in silence the grief of the infant who died before your mother was born. Thos grandmothers fear, worries, and grief can create an emotional distancing in early bonding with your mother who then grows up and repeats the pattern when she has her own child - you.
Another scenario is a man who drinks and is depressed like his father and his grandfather.
A woman who achieves high levels of success because grandmother was a trail blazer and mother, an entrepreneur.
Do you hear yourself saying --
- "The women in our family are depressed," and you are depressed.
- "I drink like my father," and you have a drinking problem.
- "I am fat like Mom, my sisters and grandmother!" And you are overweight.
- "I can't make money... my dad was a failure." and you can't get ahead.
- "I can't change this pattern. I'm stuck in this pain," and you don't know why.
Family bonding, i.e., loyalty, and the need to be a part of the collective system, is more powerful than you realize. We might reject our families and not realize how this decision to distance or emotionally separate, can influence our lives, the kinds of relationships we choose, and ultimately, can create our adult life struggles. We stay connected or loyal through addictions, anxieties, depression, anger, following patterns and the more negative qualities. We are fated to be a part of this evolving family system because we are born into it, and must navigate our way through it.
Every family member has a unique role within their respective family that is conscious and unconscious. Even at the deepest levels of consciousness, we are making life and death decisions, commitments and choices, that profoundly influences how we love and live. We often carry, or hold, our mother's pain or our grandfather's failures.
Bert Hellinger, a world renown Psychotherapist, observed this soul energy, or expression, from a perspective relatively unobserved in Western Medicine and culture, thereby, revealing the family subconscious. The therapeutic approach he designed has dramatically effected changes in individuals and their families, even when the family members are not present in the session. His work is well presented in his books, and his numerous testimonials from fellow professionals and patients speak for themselves.
Hellinger's work reveals an order of love that begins with this premise - Everyone born into a family belongs to the family, and they deserve to be 'seen' and must be recognized. This includes those who were ostracized for any reason, i.e., criminal behavior, institutionalized due to a handicap, being a bitch or cut out for nonconformity.
Maybe some of them died prematurely - at birth, or managed to achieve overwhelming financial success. In his 50 plus years of work, Hellinger observed past generations through his clients, who unconsciously lived similarly to their ancestors as a way to call attention to dismissed family members. In other words, they behave like, or do something that calls attention to the individual who was dismissed.
Suffering, premature deaths, mental disabilities, money issues, famine and virtually any life struggle or success lives within the family system. When it is ignored, dismissed or suppressed because it is too difficult, too painful or very embarassing, the unresolved conflict or pain seeks resolution in the preceeding generations. With existing personal and collective resources, families respond in the best way they can, although not always the healthiest and most supportive. There are always consequences, some realized and some unknown, to this consciousness, or bleed, as I refer to it.
How I work using Hellinger Constellations
I have integrated this work into my private sessions with great success. Solo (1-1) family energetic mapping work, meaning your family does not come in for a session, can be applied to illness, abuse, obesity/weight issues, depression, struggles, money issues - any life challenge. I have a special interest in trauma and illness, and have created a course entitled, "Wisdom Within the Wound."
We are all born into a family consciousness and in order to thrive and live fully, we must acknowledge the existing family system, as is. We can secure a new role and make personal adjustments with our family members. Keep in mind that love is fluid and has many vibrational qualities from abuse to the highest love, which is purely unconditional. Even infants in utero adapt to environments where love is scarce. These ways of loving form psychological patterns that can last a life time.
Our souls honor with great reverence our respective family systems. The patterns and energies flow from generation to generation until one member says, "I want a new order of love." (Bert Hellinger)
The question is - "How do I separate self from these past life times while maintaining the integrity of the family and my current life?
Call for an appointment or to learn more about Family Constellations - 412.344.2272